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Managing Big Emotions in Children

Young children often grapple with overwhelming emotions. When their expectations are unmet, or they face new challenges, they might react with frustration or anger. These feelings can stem from shame, embarrassment, or a sense of unfairness. Understanding this emotional landscape is vital for parents as they navigate their child's emotional development.

The Challenge of Expression

Little ones frequently lack the vocabulary or coping strategies to articulate what they're experiencing. This gap can lead to visible meltdowns, tantrums, and mood swings. These responses can be challenging for parents, who may feel helpless or overwhelmed. However, it's crucial to remember that this is a universal parenting experience; everyone faces it at one time or another.

Expert Guidance

Dr. Lauren Loquasto, Chief Academic Officer at The Goddard School, alongside Kelly Oriard and Callie Christensen, co-founders of Slumberkins and authors of "All Feelings Welcome," offer valuable advice to help parents effectively manage their child's emotional turmoil.

Techniques for Managing Tantrums

Staying composed is key for parents when a child has a meltdown. Here are some steps to take:

• - Stay Calm: Speak softly and move slowly. Responding with anxiety can escalate the situation.
• - Breath Together: Encourage deep breathing. You might say, "Let's take big breaths together."
• - Express Empathy: Rather than scolding, validate their feelings with phrases like, "It's okay to feel angry sometimes." This approach fosters a supportive environment.
• - Identify Feelings: Help your child label their emotions. Using the technique known as "sportscasting," narrate their physical reactions objectively. For example, you might observe, "I see your fists are clenched, that tells me you might be feeling upset. Is that true?"
• - Repair and Reconnect: After the emotions settle, encourage discussions about feelings and coping mechanisms together. Modeling behavior by sharing how you cope when you're upset can provide your child with relatable strategies.

Preventive Measures

While big feelings are part of childhood, there are also proactive steps you can take to reduce instances of emotional outbursts:

• - Establish Routines: Children thrive on structure. A predictable schedule helps them feel secure, reducing anxiety about unexpected changes.
• - Prepare for Transitions: Discuss upcoming changes, whether small or significant. This forewarning allows children to mentally prepare for what lies ahead.
• - Social Scripting: For challenging public events or spaces, prepare your child with a narrative about what to expect, helping them better manage potential triggers.
• - Emotional Awareness: Children are intuitive. If parents show signs of stress, their children may mirror those feelings. Maintaining a calm demeanor can promote a more relaxed atmosphere.

Resources for Further Learning

Engaging with literature that addresses emotions in a relatable way can also be beneficial. Children's books such as "Hammerhead, Mad's Not Bad" and "Felix and the Picnic" allow parents and children to explore emotional landscapes together. Encourage discussions about the characters’ feelings and relate these to their experiences.

Throughout this journey of emotional growth, it’s essential to remember that every child is unique and will require different approaches at various times. For additional resources and webinars, consider visiting the Parent Resource Center at GoddardSchool.com or explore materials at Slumberkins.com, aimed at equipping parents, educators, and children with valuable emotional intelligence tools.